Videkisse - Analog Photography: March 2008

the last morning in new york i decided to go with the sub to wall street, one of the most influential finacial districts in the world, to take some pictures of people who worked there. it was the first time i went alone somewhere in the city, and i had brought a map to find my way. when i went off the train at fulton st i started getting nervous. i am really trying to learn to approach people with my camera but this time i was more nervous than i ever had been before. i had my new lens, 50 mm, for portrait pictures. at first i thought, maybe i should just turn back. maybe i shouldn´t do this. but the night before i had written a letter to a friend in gothenburg, and declared my plans, so the words were already written.

i walked the street up and down a couple of times, passing the tourists, to look for potential objects. my target were businessmen that worked on wall street. i did not look for any women, i did not look for anyone without suits or classy clothes. the first one i asked was really friendly, in fact everyone that i asked were.

one of the guys had a brittish accent that went stright into my body and gave me a feeling of butterflies inside. when i asked him if i could take his picture he asked me "for what purpose?" and i answered "it is just for my own sake, i am just walking the street up and down asking people that work at wall street if i can take their picture" and he said "are you looking for typical wall street material?" and i said "yeah, kind of, men in suits" and then i took his picture.

when i left wall street i felt a little shaky, a little weak in my legs. i could not stop thinking about that business man with the brittish accent. he confronted me with my own intentions with his question about my purpose of the photographing of stereotypes. in a way, i felt like i had entered a private sphere when i took his picture. i felt he suspected me of something. as if he unveiled my naive fascination of these successful men, and under there found a young curious girl whose favorite book was american psycho. cause that is probably the only reference i have to wall street. i thought, we are not that different. then i thought, i will never know what kind of man you are or anything about how you live your life. and then my thoughts were in a domino effect and i ended up feeling like a little girl, who did not now much better, but still felt a little proud about herself.

i waited with excitement when i developed my films. i wanted to see how that picture on him turned out. but when i had the whole serie of pictures in my hand, i actually found another picture even more beautiful. at the moment i took this mans picture, he looked very uncomfortable and made a stern face. but in the portrait of him he actually looks kinda cute and a little sad.